The Little League World Series, that is. And it was a semi-final, not the Big Enchilada.
But far more important than the fact that the team from real America got eliminated is the potential impact on the presidential race. Because this can only be a huge boost for McCain's chances.
Why? Well, consider: Obama is from Hawaii, and many of the boys on the team have foreign-sounding names. Even worse, I didn't see a single flag pin on any of their uniforms. What's more, the series is held in Pennsylvania, which is full of disgruntled Clinton supporters. And…and, well, I can't really figure out all the implications, but I DO KNOW BEYOND DOUBT THAT THIS CAN ONLY BE GREAT NEWS FOR MCCAIN!
Joe Biden carried faithfully out the duty of a #2 earlier today, when he dropped some fairly large logs in front of some reporters and, satisfied with what he had done, nodded and remarked, "I had a successful dump."
Not surprisingly, the media ate it all up with a spoon. News of his dump traveled far and wide. Senator Biden then asked if anyone would help him with his next dump, saying, "by the way I got a second load coming and if anyone wants to help me unload let me know" but the confused reporters, who were sick of eating Biden's BS and waiting to hear when #2 would drop, declined to help Mr. Biden with his next dump.
The Democratic National Committee announced today that it was replacing its Keynote Speaker slot from Gov. Mark Warner (VA) to Congressman Dennis Kucinich (OH).
DNC spokesperson Mary Thorne spoke at a hastily arranged press conference Wednesday evening. "Senator Obama, whom you all know is our almighty boss and we have to do whatever he says, gave the order this afternoon. "We are simply following Senator McCain's precedent of giving the Keynote Address to the fifth place challenger in the primaries. Rudy Giuliani finished behind McCain, Huckabee, Romney, and Paul. Likewise, Kucinich finished behind Obama, Clinton, Edwards, and Richardson.
We need a candidate who is thoughtful, believable, intelligent, telegenic, and has great hair.
George Clooney.
Seriously (not seriously, see the snark tag)
Really seriously, I would like to see Wes Clark actually selected, if just to say "fuck you" to the beltway boneheads...or Howard Dean, because...He's Howard Dean.
Biden gives me shingles, and I don't think that medical science has a name for what Bayh gives me.
Researchers at the In Your Dreams Institute released startling findings today, correlating the death and decay of cancerous cells in humans with increased consumption in ice cream. Millions of cancer patients worldwide rejoiced at the news, given that ice cream is a frequent side dish to the strict diet/drug regiment enforced upon cancer patients (which are now obsolete).
This news, along with several other conclusions released during the previous week, is meant to gather attention before the IYDI releases its findings on Barack Obama's VP pick. Other conclusions released this week:
A quick twitter like diary to commemorate the fact that after ... 3 months ? .. of being a kog I got enough mojo to see the hidden comments tab.
Oh joy! I dedicate this achievement to my mamacita who sudffered through hours of labor to give birth to little old me, and to all the kogs who rated my comments up!
With my newly minted TU status I will proceed to hide the repugs and crazies who dare to comment in this site. And engage on pie wars with the best..
All kidding aside, I'm happy to see I don't need a single digit user id to be TU. Democracy happens here. Thanks guys and girls!
In a move that stunned the entire political world, Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama has chosen the Flying Spaghetti Monster as his running mate.
Rasmussen just released its new national tracking poll. With leaners, it's Obama 47 to McCain 46. This is down dramatically from the result we saw on this day last month, when Obama was leading by 47 to 45. The numbers don't lie. Obama has fallen HARD and McCain has sliced his lead in half. Obviously, McCain has made serious inroads by saying that Obama supporters play Dungeons & Dragons. The evidence is undeniable. If Americans think Obama spends his weekends pretending to be a half-orc cleric, he will lose. Luckily, Obama has me to give him some advice. If he just follows these simple steps, he'll be back up to a 2-point lead in no time.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE LATEST POLL!? BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING!
McCain is up by 5 points! Game Over Man! Game Over! We are going to get hosed man, we'red going to get hosed! The Sky is Falling! Dogs and Cats are sleeping together! Alligators will walk on their hind legs and eat small children and midgets! GAME OVER!
Unless Barack Obama does exactly what I say starting right now!
1794 - At the Battle of Fallen Timbers in Ohio, General Anthony Wayne murders thousands of indigenous Native Americans, clearing the way for more hundreds of thousands more Indian deaths, and the largest land grab in the world's history.
1977 - The United States launches the Voyager 2 spacecraft to invade the solar system, threatening ET with a phonograph record of human civilization.
COINCIDENCE? I think NOT!
Quote:
"Of all learned men, the clergy show the lowest development of professional ethics. Any pastor is free to cadge customers from the divines of rival sects, and to denounce the divines themselves as theological quacks."
-- H.L. Mencken
Summary: As you almost certainly know, Rachel Maddow will be getting her own show on MSNBC. As you probably know, there is no title yet for it. Now, I could just run through a list of realistic titles for you to consider, but Clem Yeobright beat me to it.
So let's try something a little different, shall we?
There's a thing going around called, "Why I'm Voting Democrat." As can be expected, it's idiotically wrong-headed and scurrilous, citing false point after false point of jingoism and scare politics. Most of you have probably seen it, or will see it.
Here is my response. If you want to send it out in answer to the Democrat one, or just in general if you like it, feel free to do so. You may use any or all of it, edited or unedited, for content or length. I know it's kind of long, because once I got started ...
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I’m voting Republican because Al Gore is a Democrat and he has started this hoax about global warming, and wants to make me pay more for gas, or drive a tiny car, instead of my All-American Hummer (which the Republicans gave me a tax deduction for!!). Or else Al Gore will force me to drive a slow electric car, like his gay friends in Hollywood. I believe that if someone investigated it (not the New York Times, which is socialistic) they would find that Al Gore has used the money from all those baloney awards he won to pay off scientists and news liberals to say that there is global warming. Because Al Gore hates my car.
